Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
