i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
