sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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