chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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