I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
