We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
