You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
