im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
