Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
