allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
