Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
