I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We need to rekindle our bromance
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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