we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
