Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
