then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
MIDGETS
????
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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