i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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