I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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