so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
