You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
kristin has been a bad kristin
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Randomize
