just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
