i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
