hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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