Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
