remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
