I'm really into asian looking animals
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
