Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
