We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
