try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
