mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
