We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
