You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
