come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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