you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
