I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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