I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
