He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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