this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
