Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
