He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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