we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
