her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
