I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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