never play flip cup with pint glasses
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
