So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
