I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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