mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
you never un-have a 4some
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
