Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
