I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
