what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
