No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
