I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
