Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
