Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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