Whod you bang
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She's the barista slut.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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